Thursday, September 30, 2010

I never thought I'd feel this old at 22...

"Jules, you know, honey...this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

-Billy (Rob Lowe) from St. Elmo's Fire, which turned 25 years old this week.

First, I own this movie on DVD, even though it comes on cable about once a month. Second, Rob Lowe with a dangly earring. Third, Emilio Estevez is the only male cast member NOT working the "I'm so intense" gaze thing. Finally, I only watch it for the last half hour when everything falls apart and Demi Moore has a breakdown in her empty apartment - one of the top greatest movie scenes of all time.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Working for the weekend...

I love a lazy weekend, but even when I have plans to sleep in (especially when I have plans to sleep in), something happens to my brain. Last night, as I drifted off to sleep in the wee hours (was reading late at night), my last thought was "no alarm tomorrow morning...sleeping in...yay." And then I woke up at 6am for no apparent reason. Please note that during the week, my daily alarm is set for 7am, so this is a full hour earlier than I would normally wake up. I figured I'd take the dog out quickly and crawl back in between the sheets so I could sleep for a few more hours.

But after a walk (in the lovely cool morning air), I came back inside and figured I'd "just check my email." Which led to doing a little work online, which led to a cup of coffee, which led to doing some more work, another dog walk, more coffee, and before I knew it: 11am, breakfast, and I knew if I got back into bed or tried to crash on the couch, I'd end up watching Urban Legends back to back on TV for a few hours instead of sleeping.

The TV is still off and I've been working on my freelance and personal to-do list for the better part of the day. Although I love going to work at an office every day (especially after working from home for over a year), days like these remind me of the things I loved about working from home: taking breaks to walk the dog whenever I was creatively stuck so I could mull over whatever I was working on, listening to NPR podcasts while I'm working, listening to music while I'm working, still being in my pajamas (technically, yoga pants and a tank top), hair in ponytail with no makeup on, no ringing phone, no "what am I having for lunch" (because the fridge is 10 feet away), and sitting cross-legged on my couch with my laptop instead of in an office chair, blinds open with a view of my back deck and beyond.

I was prepared for a lazy weekend. I have three books to read, the current season of Weeds from Netflix, clean sheets (because I did laundry last night), and nothing terribly pressing on my to-do list. But it feels better to have accomplished something rather than nothing, and it's still only Saturday so I can have a lazy Sunday.

In honor of checking more than 10 things off of my list since 6am, some "energy music" from The Ting Tings (in my current top 25 iTunes playlist).

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Help "turn Austin red" for the 23rd annual AIDS Walk, Oct. 17...

The agency I work for, Broad Street Interactive, is supporting Austin’s 23rd Annual AIDS Walk for the second year in a row. This year’s walk is October 17 and you can sign up to create a team here or donate directly to the cause here.

Broad Street Interactive has turned our blog “Red” for the remaining days until the walk. We are donating creative services for the online ads and ad space on our site as well as providing nearly 1 million online ad impressions on various media web sites in Austin through October 17 to help raise money for this worthy cause.

If you are in Austin, have a blog or site, and would like to help us with getting the word out, contact us! It's easy: We have multiple ad sizes and can get these ads running on your site right away, Wordpress, Blogger, any type of site that can insert a Javascript code. You can see what the ad looks like in the right column of my blog (this one's a 160x600, but we have others).

Get started by emailing us at mediaATbroadstreetinteractiveDOTcom or calling us at 512.275.6227 to obtain the code package to insert into your site - we'd love to include you in our list of sponsors!

Monday, September 13, 2010

How to be alone...

I stumbled across this video in one of my RSS feeds and have watched it four or five times already. As someone living in a still-strange city where it's hard to make friends, it really touched me. Beautiful, strange, and heartwarming.

"If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it."



Video by the extremely talented filmmaker Andrea Dorfman and poet/singer/songwriter Tanya Davis.

A must-watch for anyone who has ever found themselves in an "alone" situation, and a reminder that "alone" doesn't always mean "lonely." And when it does, "lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remembering...

I used to think that if I told the real truth, the whole world would burst into flames. Nine years ago it felt like it did. It makes me remember and feel...

...like telling some people what I know that I pretend not to know so they could be just as shocked at the betrayal of others as I was at theirs.

...extraordinary shame when I catch myself wishing that bad things would happen to bad people. It's not up to me to mete out punishment.

...pity at discovering, though years have passed, sometimes people remain in the same emotional place in their lives forever.

...sorrow that, although I would love to put some things behind me and forget about them altogether, one cannot have an elective lobotomy. I tend to worry circumstance like a loose tooth.

...lost. I need an emotional and spiritual GPS.

...hopeful when I am reminded of kindness that came out of nowhere.

...grateful for the love in my life.
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