Monday, December 12, 2005

You say "crazy," I say "contained and appropriate expressions of anger are healthy"
Several years ago, after a passionate relationship that was followed by an equally passionate breakup, I found myself home alone one evening packing his stuff into boxes (because I was SO ready for it to be over, but also so I'd never have to see his lying face again). I might have been a little liquored up, definitely a lot pissed off, and I spontaneously decided to cut all of his clothes into one-inch strips, fold them neatly, pack them into plastic shopping bags, and leave them on the porch for him to pick up. Then I drunk dialed all my friends to tell them what I did.

The response was mixed. A few of my female friends said I should have tossed everything in the trash. One said I should have destroyed his CDs too, but I couldn't bring myself to touch the music. I had some guy friends wonder out loud if I hadn't been a bit harsh, but they weren't 100% clued in to the vast emotional wretchedness of my former beloved. A few just said, "that's freaking crazy." I know when it comes to breakups, using scissors on anything is about one boiled bunny away from Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction (remember that scene at the end when she isn't even aware she's stabbing herself in the leg?). But to me, what I did was a logical artistic expression of my shredded feelings for him. And I might have been a teeny bit drunk, but I wasn't crazy.

How do I know? Because ALL I did was cut his clothes into strips and wish that I could be there when he opened the bags. However, if I had cut his clothes into one-inch strips while chanting ancient curses, cut off parts of my own body (minor ones like fingers and ears) and maybe some hair to put in the bags with his clothes, then hide while bleeding and giggling maniacally and waiting for him to come pick them up because once he did he was sure to see my love for him? Yeah. That would have been crazy. Big difference.

1 comment:

  1. "the vast emotional wretchedness of my former beloved."


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