Since I can never get back the 103 minutes I spent watching this piece of crap last night, I feel obligated to warn the rest of the world. I'm not going to tell you whose idea it was (Michael's), but Michael and I went to see Stick It. Before you say that I was just asking for it, you should know that it was written and directed by the woman who wrote Bring it On, one of the Greatest Movies of All Time, so I thought it was a sure thing. It wasn't.
Here's the lowdown from IMDB:
After a run-in with the law, Haley Graham (Missy Peregrym) is forced to return to the world from which she fled some years ago. Enrolled in an elite gymnastics program run by the legendary Burt Vickerman (Jeff Bridges), Haley's rebellious attitude gives way to something that just might be called team spirit.
Here's my synopsis:
OOH! A GIRL on a DIRT BIKE?!? What a stunt! But she's really a gymnast...a REBEL gymnast with a REBELLIOUS ATTITUDE. Here's some stupid girls who hate her (we know they're stupid because they misuse words), here's how she wins them over, here's how much of a REBEL she is. Oh, and here's some old dude who got injured like a million years ago and (ooh!) he's a HARDASS...with a heart of gold. Wait, why is she such a REBEL? Because her parents...(pause for dramatic effect)...got DIVORCED. How traumatic. Nothing happens, nothing happens, some gymnastics, nothing happens, heartwarming crap, movie over. I'm crying because I'm happy it's over. Michael is crying because I just told him they don't have a 30-and-over age class at gymnastics school. The one other person in the theater is crying because she missed the last half of the movie while she was chatting on her cellphone.
The funniest part was before the movie even started when Michael convinced me that they ran the "please turn off your cell phone" promo three times because the guy in the projection booth could see me typing on my Blackberry. At first I was like, "NUH-uh!" but then the promo played AGAIN and Michael said, "see? It's YOU, put it away." I put it away.
The only other thing I can say is that this movie was supposed to be good. I can't imagine what happened, but I'm SUPER disappointed, y'all. This one's going in the bargain bin right next to From Justin to Kelly.