Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Swing Your Partner ‘Round and ‘Round, Turn Your Corner Upside Down

After my biological father (I say that like I have another kind of father...) married his (much younger) second wife, they used to wear matching t-shirts. Without irony.

I was only 11, but I thought it was the tackiest thing EVER when he showed up in his stupid tiny sportscar with some awful Beefy Tee emblazoned with an island resort, beer, or marathon logo (they were both quite fond of frequent vacations, drinking, and running, which is why the divorce baffled me so) tucked into jeans. She'd be sitting there, passenger side, with the same t-shirt on, fake boobs, orange makeup, and tons of gold necklaces. "What a couple of a-holes," my 11-year-old self exclaimed. "What dorks."

To this day, whenever I see a couple wearing matching outfits, I think, "second wife." Unless they're wearing square dance clothing, which you will often see at Shoney's at 11pm. Square dance people are supposed to match and I can't hold that against them.

Circle left and promenade.


  1. When I worked in Prague the Executive Editor, who has now passed, was into square dancing and sometimes if he had to come in at night to read copy before going on to his dosey do, he would arrive in his full-on square dance outfit.
    It was quite a sight to see this 70ish, white haired Jewish man who was your boss in such a get-up.
    It was even better when his wife stopped by to pick him up.
    Yippee Ki Yi Yay!

  2. OMG I think your dad married my mom. I'm just kidding, but he might have been married to my father's second or third wives, one of which was my age (at the time 25). Talk about a gross out!!!

  3. Okay, so Bear and I have SOME matching tee shirts - mostly from the annual Scottish highland games, where we got engaged one year... I know, gag me with a hallmark moment...

    I'm a fourth wife! 8-)

    (I only told you that because we're not at IHOP right now)

    - M


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...