Four years ago...
I remember him telling me that he steals time away from his world to spend it in mine.
I remember him telling me that, while he is talking to God, he sometimes wonders if he is losing his mind, if he had already damned himself beyond salvation.
I remember telling him that I worried about him. That I had been there too, once, sitting in the silence, waiting for God to answer. And that sometimes silence is our answer.
I remember him telling me that he wanted to take care of me, that he wanted to be the one to worry.
I remember telling him that I didn’t think he knew me well enough to know what I needed.
I remember him telling me, “don’t worry. We’ll still be friends,” he said, “even after you don’t want to talk to me anymore.
Had I been paying closer attention, I could have written the script for everything that happened later. Instead I said what I always said:
"I love you goodbye."
Under a Cajun moon I lay me open
There is a spirit here that won't be broken
Some words are sad to sing
Some leave me tongue-tied
But the hardest words I know
Are I love you goodbye
I love you goodbye.