*I am a visual learner who wore out my last pair of contact lenses eight months ago because I’m too lazy to make an appointment.
*I’ve been waiting for my mid-life crisis for so long now that I think it already happened and I missed it.
*I am smart enough to get myself out of trouble, but not smart enough to avoid getting in it the first place (and have never been satisfactorily repentant).
*Every now and then I think, “Dinner party!” but I always have a change of heart when I realize I’ll be responsible for the food and conversation.
*I am a master of stating the obvious; I always thought it was strange that it was one of the things he liked about me.
*I thought the summer he moved away would be the worst one of my life, but it turns out that he knew better than I.
*The one-word insult I would least like to have directed at me: “Common.”
*I love to sleep. I once lost an argument, but not because I agreed with him; I gave in so I could go to bed and stop talking about it.
*I read a Harry Potter book once (at the urging of two friends who love the books) and I hated it. I leave the room when people start talking Potter.
*I believe in Karma: I throw gum on the ground, therefore I step in gum.