Waiting for winter...

We get a few cold days in Austin here and there, just teasers really, when we oh-so-hopefully drag out our boots and sweaters, throw an extra blanket on the bed, and wonder if we should go ahead and buy firewood. Rationally, we know that it's going to be 85 and humid tomorrow afternoon, that it will probably be warm on Thanksgiving, that the weather is going to be schizophrenic until at least January (and then we'll have two months of cold weather and it might even snow).

snow weather by kellylovej

In Texas, I've learned to wait it out. I put the holiday lights on my fireplace mantel on Saturday. I had the air conditioning on because the high on Saturday was 90 degrees. I persist, and affix a red bow to the outside door.

I have an active imagination. I squint and see leaves turning gold and brown with the season (and not dying trees because we're in a 10-month drought).

I buy sweaters online from the comfort of my chilly, air-conditioned office. And scarves. Because there will be at least two days this year that I can wear both. I briefly considered these boots...for the one day of snow we might get.

I surf Flickr for images of covered bridges, autumn in New England (I was born in Massachusetts, spent time in Newport and rural New Jersey before moving down South).

I dream of wintery, blustery nights in front of my fireplace, wrapped in a cashmere throw (the heart wants what the heart wants). This wallpaper could give me winter wonderful all year.

I love my winter clothes so much more than the others for their forgiveness, for their layered cozy comfort, for the 10 lbs. of Thanksgiving overeating they're going to hide. I have three perfectly good (and lovely) winter coats, but I think I need this one. I'll wear things in layers in the wintertime that I'd never wear alone, like this dress. The only hat I wear in the summer is an ugly wide-brimmed thing I wear to walk the dog. In the winter, I wear hats and feel very stylish (and they also cover up "day two" unwashed hair).

One or two more humid days of 80-something degrees before the next cold front comes in. Today I am wearing a cable-knit sweater in my air-conditioned office, drove here in my air-conditioned car, and will sleep tonight under an extra blanket in my air-conditioned house, dreaming of winter winds, warming my hands around a pumpkin latte, knocking the snow off of my boots on the front porch and warming my feet by the fire. Brrrr.

Today I am happy because...

Despite having lowered the bar quite a bit when it comes to the heat of summer (Austin Summer 2011 = 76 consecutive days of 100+ degree temperatures and makes summer in Charleston seem like a breeze), I am happy that the highs are just 95 or 96 now and the lows at night are dipping into the 60s. I get stupid happy when the sun goes down, just thinking that fall is around the corner (two months or more around, but around all the same).

After being in Austin for nearly two years, I finally visited a local farmer's market (something I used to do regularly in Charleston because I lived within bicycle-riding distance of Marion Square). I went with my friend Lisa on Saturday and it was wonderful. Besides fresh arugula, onions, artisan fig balsamic vinegar, rustic bread and lavender, I also bought lovely ginger lemongrass soy candles and handmade "dope" soap that smells a but like pot and patchouli.

Also on Saturday? Almost 30 minutes of rain. Enough to stand in it and get wet. It's been eight months since any significant rainfall in Central Texas. I'd forgotten how magical rain can be and how great it smells when it rains, what thunder sounds like, and what it feels like to be rained upon. Adored every minute.

I hate labels and the tendency to refer to myself in the third person, but having a name for what I thought was something I'd have to live with and accept forever is a blessing. I get to choose whether or not I do something about it or keep it. Sometimes having the power is just enough and sitting on the sidelines instead of participating is a choice, not a punishment.

I woke up this morning, got out of bed, and went to work at my day job. I thought I'd add this to the list because I have had some days over the past several months for which "got out of bed" was the first and only item on my gratitude list. Happy to add more to that sentence.

I don't have to apologize for anything today. I am happy that fall television has begun and am not ashamed that I plan to spend most of the week watching new shows just for fun. I am also in the middle of a book ( The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta) and an entire season of "Doctor Who" that I borrowed from a friend (the Christopher Eccleston, or 9th doctor, season). I didn't watch the roast of Charlie Sheen. I didn't watch Ashton Kutcher on "Two and a Half Men." I've never liked the show and I'm not sorry.

What are you happy about or not sorry for? I know there's something. Share!

Luck and getting what you need when you need it...

My niece Keri gave me this when I was still living in Charleston. It's for luck and prosperity, two things I need right now (the latter more than the former), and it hangs in my Austin home in the kitchen window.

It's the lucky charm I see while washing dishes or cooking and today it reminded me that we get what we need when we need it. I'm working hard balancing my time freelancing with my job search, hoping that the right job will come along, hoping that the Universe knows what it's doing, and hoping that I'm making the right decisions.

Everything leads to something and I know the time I've put into my job search, into my freelance work, into surviving on a daily basis, will lead me in the right direction. It brought me here, to Austin, for a reason. I started writing about luck this month because I caught myself wondering if I believed in all of these talismans I surround myself with, but realized they're just stand-ins for what everyone else calls faith. Reminders. Everyone has to believe in something, to have faith in something. I'm letting the Universe steer this ship. The lucky charms are just there to remind me to relinquish control. Every time I have, I've gotten exactly what I needed.

Vacation, all I never wanted...

I've never been great about taking vacations, especially as a freelancer when every hour is a potentially billable one. Over the past year - actually since moving to Austin in early 2010 - work-life balance has been one of my priorities.

This holiday weekend, I'm not headed on a jaunt to the islands, to a cabin in the mountains, or on my dream Alaskan cruise (whale-watching!), but I am disconnecting from work and work-related marketing tasks for the weekend. I have a great stack of books to read, my air conditioning works really well, I plan on taking lots of naps (had a good one this afternoon, falling asleep on the couch with a book open on my chest), getting some things in my house in order, re-organizing my home office space, maybe doing some housekeeping on my own personal sites (not really work-related, but I know that one is a stretch), taking the dog to a dog park for some running around and ball-throwing, and sleeping until my furbaby wakes me up instead of the alarm.

Right now, this is the vacation I need: taking my brain to a new creative space, writing for personal gratification instead of professional gain, taking my body outside for some people-watching and dog-bonding, exploring a few parts of the city I haven't seen yet (yes, I've been here a while but there's lots to see in Austin), and reading for pleasure instead of research.

I might even break out the Moleskine and colored pens and do some actual handwriting (can't remember the last time I went there, but my Moleskine dated pages says it's been too long). And I'm charging my camera now in case I feel like wandering around and snapping a few pictures of this crazy city in which I live, maybe find some interesting things off the beaten path, strike up some conversations with strangers, re-set my internal clock. It's not the Caribbean, but it's what I need now - and bonus: it's all here in a 10-mile radius.

I hope you're getting out - of town or in - and doing some exciting things this holiday weekend. And I haven't forgotten why we have a three-day weekend and plan on including some thoughts on gratitude and respect for the brave people who have sacrificed so much to make our country a better place (you can't see it, but I'm waving a tiny American flag right now). For those of you spending the weekend with your families, be grateful. I'm thinking about mine far away right now after having a marathon phone conversation tonight with my older sister, who I know will have the family over for a barbecue on Monday and I'm going to miss out on the chaos and laughter.

Love you, mean it.

October in Austin...

Isn't much different from October in Charleston...cool mornings, warm days, cool evenings, humidity hanging out for its last hurrah. But it feels like fall, one of my favorite times of the year. I love being able to open the windows at night, walking the dog without having to bring a bottle of water (for the dog), sitting on the back deck in the breeze with coffee and working on my laptop. I'm more social this time of year, when I know I can go out without worrying about my hair getting soaked from sweat or getting dehydrated.

Yesterday I had a lovely brunch with my neighbor at one of my favorite brunch places in Austin, Chez Zee (I will eat anything with hollandaise on it). Afterwards, we went to one of my other favorite places, Central Market, for "Cheese Fest." It's exactly what it sounds like: Cheese. I bought a lovely gourmandise with walnuts that has a maple flavor and some goat cheese with cranberries. And some grapes and crackers to go with it.

My other favorite thing about October: Halloween parties. Last night, my friends Charlie and Bryan had a pumpkin carving party and it was terrific (all of their parties are terrific). Pumpkin guts and knives and champagne and snacks. And lots of photos! My pumpkin looked slightly lobotomized because I was trying to even out its cap, but I was happy with it. And I got to take a photo home as a party favor!

Happy October!

Help "turn Austin red" for the 23rd annual AIDS Walk, Oct. 17...

The agency I work for, Broad Street Interactive, is supporting Austin’s 23rd Annual AIDS Walk for the second year in a row. This year’s walk is October 17 and you can sign up to create a team here or donate directly to the cause here.

Broad Street Interactive has turned our blog “Red” for the remaining days until the walk. We are donating creative services for the online ads and ad space on our site as well as providing nearly 1 million online ad impressions on various media web sites in Austin through October 17 to help raise money for this worthy cause.

If you are in Austin, have a blog or site, and would like to help us with getting the word out, contact us! It's easy: We have multiple ad sizes and can get these ads running on your site right away, Wordpress, Blogger, any type of site that can insert a Javascript code. You can see what the ad looks like in the right column of my blog (this one's a 160x600, but we have others).

Get started by emailing us at mediaATbroadstreetinteractiveDOTcom or calling us at 512.275.6227 to obtain the code package to insert into your site - we'd love to include you in our list of sponsors!

This year's soundtrack....

Inspired my my friend Angie Mizzell's post, My Story: The Soundtrack, and because I have been working on and off on a memoir-style (sort of) essay collection myself, I came up with my own soundtrack should they make a movie from my memoir (a la Eat Pray Love). A more apt title for mine would be Love, Drink, Cry....but it isn't. I posted this on Angie's blog as well, but wanted to share here. Soundtrack for my memoir, possibly. Soundtrack for 2010, definitely.

The Weary Kind, Ryan Bingham (from the Crazy Heart soundtrack)
Beautiful World, Colin Hay
Hold on Hope, Guided by Voices
All in My Head, Shawn Mullins
Carolina in My Mind, James Taylor
Too Much Space, Lisa Germano
Who'd Have Known, Lily Allen
Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve
Thunder Road, Cowboy Junkies (Springsteen cover)
I am Alright, Madeleine Peyroux
All I Want, Susie Suh
Harvest Moon, Neil Young
You Are Not Alone, Patty Griffin
Don't Mind Me, Lucy Kaplansky

I have an actual iTunes playlist for this one called "Moving to Austin." I also have a playlist for 2009 called "The Shitshow," but I'd rather keep that one to myself for now. Even if you're not working on a memoir like the 10 billion of us who are, what is your soundtrack (or song) for this year? Did you have one for 2009? Is it mostly made up of The Cure? Should I have included "Deep in the Heart of Texas" on mine?

Share yours here...I'd love to add some new music to my own list.

When I dream, I dream in Charleston...

Even after being in Austin for over seven months, I am often homesick. Homesickness, thankfully, isn't debilitating. But it shows up in the strangest ways.

I still love to look at photos of my house in Charleston in Wagener Terrace. Not only did I love that house and lived there for eight years, I adored the neighborhood. I have some good memories of that house. I wrote my first book in my home office in that house. I got my puppy in that house and met so many wonderful neighbors walking that little furball around the neighborhood. I trained her in the side yard. She played with her dog friends in the back yard. Someone else lives there now.



I miss azaleas. I miss Hampton Park. I miss Lulu's dog friends. I miss my family. I miss my sunroom. I miss my sweet neighbor Therese, who used to bring me the loveliest leftover dinner plates with ethnic and organic food. She once cooked me Ethiopian food simply because I mentioned I'd never tried it. I miss Carl and Donna across the street. There was something comforting on weekend mornings about watching them work in their yard or on their house. I miss my monkey, who lived a block up the street after he moved out and used to bring me fresh tomatoes from his garden. I miss Tom and Ellie and Lulu misses Nando, their Havanese - the first dog love she had at only 8 weeks old. I miss my freelancer friends I used to have lunch with at Earthfare's cafe. I miss my BFF, who used to come over and eat Chinese food from Hot Mustard with me at least once a week. I miss Doretha, Angie, Linda, Janet, Jason, Aluette, Jay (and Tater!), Sabrina, Margaret, Ida, Amy, Leigh, Lee, Misty, Archie, Colleen, and so many more.

I never really needed my GPS in Charleston, since I grew up there, but in Austin, Samantha (GPS voice) and I communicate frequently. I couldn't find my way around Austin without Samantha. But I am going to confess for the first time here: My "home" setting in my GPS is still Grove Street in Charleston. I haven't changed it.

I haven't gotten a Texas driver's license or Texas tags for my car yet. My tags don't expire until next month, and my license is good until 2011, so I figured it was OK to wait. If I get pulled over, I figured I'd just tell them I recently relocated. Something about switching tags and getting a Texas license makes it feel so permanent, and makes me feel a little like I can't go home if I wanted to RIGHT NOW. I don't, but I like having the option.

Sometimes when I dream, even now, I dream in Charleston. And sometimes I wake up and I'm surprised to be in a room I don't recognize. Where are my blush pink walls, my 1940s glass windows, my high ceilings, my hardwood floors? And then I remember: I am in Texas.

So maybe I've been dragging my feet a little bit, literally and figuratively. But next month, I'm going to have to go wherever one goes to switch tags. I will also have to have my vehicle inspected, as they do that in Texas. And get a new license at the DMV.

I'm making new friends here, new memories, and there is a strong chance that someday years from now I will look back and feel so much nostalgia for Austin that I can hardly stand it. But it's new to me still and that's not a bad thing. I know it will eventually feel like home. And I needed this change of scenery. I need to be here.

What June in Austin looks like...

Work, work, sweat, sleep, eat, sweat, work, sweat, swear, sweat, apply sunscreen, sweat, work, eat, sleep, pay high electric bill, work, eat, sleep naked, work, eat, sweat, apply sunscreen, repeat.

Also:

Laugh my ass off when the weatherperson on the news channel refers to this time of year as "spring."

Get angry at the dog for wanting to go outside when it feels like 110 degrees, but worry that the sidewalk is burning her feet.

Notice that the entire neighborhood in the mid-day heat smells like garbage and dog shit.

Designate the hour upon returning home from the office following taking the dog out "naked time." Fall in love with my ceiling fan.

For my Charleston friends back home, June in Austin feels like August in Charleston. I'm imagining that July and August in Austin is going to make me want to move into my refrigerator. And that thing about Texas heat being "dry heat?" Lies.

My writing space in Austin...

It's not an entire sunroom like I had in Charleston, but I decided to set it up where my dining room should go and there's great light from the windows in the living room.

The inspiration board is a work in progress (always)!

Adventures in Austin...

Now that the weather isn't crazy weird (it SNOWED in February here, people), I've been more motivated to get out and about. I was excited about SXSW, but it crept up so quickly and I realized it wasn't so different than Spoleto in Charleston, except tons bigger. Traffic in downtown Austin during SXSW is a nightmare (but I will say the people watching is worth making the drive and hanging out for a bit). You can't get a table at the "good" Whole Foods for lunch (miss my two-for-five-bucks awesome taco bar). But I still think I'm going to spring for a wristband or badge next year - if only for the interactive part of the festival. Even without a wristband, SXSW has gotten me hooked on Foursquare (if you're not familiar, look it up and be my friend) and there's a local access channel on television with 24-hour SXSW coverage, so it feels like you're there (without the crowds).

Other than that, I've shopped, eaten out at some fabulous restaurants (you can't get dim sum like this in Charleston), taken Lulu to a dog park near where people play Frisbee golf (not kidding about that...they're out there almost every day), been to a dog birthday party, backyard barbeque, went to a great local book store, and am planning on attending a local music awards show this weekend.

After living in Charleston in my happy little comfort zone for so long, I have had to motivate myself to get out and about. It's too easy to work all day and come home at night, hit the couch, and watch TV or read so I don't have to interact with strangers. And I do that on most nights. I'm still homesick and I don't think that will ever go away. Sometimes I'm so homesick, it's hard to talk to my mom or my sisters or nieces or my best friend back home because I miss them so much. I've made up my mind to be happy here, but I haven't found "my people" yet. I think the older you are, the harder it is to make friends. But now I have a checklist of events and places to go - even if it's just me and my laptop, I'm definitely going to get out and about more.

And you know that "Keep Austin Weird" slogan? I love that it's weird. I love that there are kite festivals and frisbee golf and a celebration for Eeyore's birthday. Summer is going to be brutal, but I'm going to stop obsessing over my upper arms and wear tank tops. I'm going to get a parasol or sun umbrella. I might even wear hats.

Update from Austin...

I've been in Austin 2 weeks today, so I figured it was time for an update!

It was a lot of work (with help from friends and family, who I owe big time) packing and getting utilities turned off in Charleston and on in Austin, opening a new bank account (I had SC Federal), and getting ready for a really long drive. I have to say (and they're not paying me for this), using UNITS Storage and Moving was the best decision I made. They have amazing customer service, my UNIT was delivered exactly when they said it would be, shipped to San Antonio over the holidays, and the driver from San Antonio actually called me when they left for Austin to give me a heads up on their arrival time. And I did a lot of calling around to similar companies (like PODS) and the quote from UNITS was well under the rest.

On travel: I drove to Austin in my Honday CR-V with a sedated cat in a crate in the back seat and my Pomeranian, Lulu, in the passenger seat next to me. I left on Sunday the 2rd and drove for two and a half days, stayed two nights in Interstate hotels (the first night in Tuscaloosa, AL, and the second in a tiny town called Buffalo in TX). The whole drive was about 21 hours and there was a freak cold front in the deep south. Snow flurries the entire drive through Mississippi that didn't let up until Louisana, having to make frequent stops because of the dog (who was surprisingly patient and well-behaved the entire trip), not being able to find pet-friendly hotels before dark (I hate to drive long distances at night).

But I made it to Austin and so did my furniture. I'm still unpacking because I jumped into work pretty quickly and am now going into the office every day (which is weird after working from home for over a year, but it made me realize how much I missed having a place to go every day and working with other people). I love what I'm working on, even when it's a little stressful.

I get flashes of homesickness from time to time, but am keeping busy and it's exciting to be in a new place and explore a new city. The freakish cold weather has subsided, the sun actually came out this week, and I'm sleeping through the night again.

More soon...and lots of love from Austin!