Today I tick many things off of my to-do list...

There's something about peace of mind and a stress-free day job that makes me oh-so productive. I think I've fed my blog monster more in the past week than I have in the past year. Just this week:

I researched and wrote a blog post (not one of my own).

I paid my car taxes online (and remembered that inspection is due this month, sort of amazing for me since I don't pay attention to the stickers on my own windshield and never had to get my car inspected when I lived in Charleston).

I went grocery shopping and actually bought enough food to last a week.

Laundry: Not just bed linens, but clothing and towels as well.

Filled out paperwork for health insurance prior to benefits meeting this week.

Located my social security card (see last item).

Made dinner for myself and roommate last night, as she was on her second double-shift work day of the week. Meatless Tuesday: Couscous with chickpeas, onion, garlic and toasted pine nuts.

Scheduled hair appointment in hopes that weather will cooperate and I may begin wearing my hair down.

I could store all of these tasks in my iPhone (surely there's an app for that), but I still prefer the old-school method of list-making: Post-it notes and various scraps of lists collected in a small Moleskine notebook with accordion pocket that I keep in my shoulder bag and update daily. There's something really satisfying about crossing items from the list (or moving them to next week) with pen to paper that doesn't really translate to high-tech. There's always the possibility that I'll change my tune and tout the advantages of the next amazing "to-do list app" by the end of the year. I do love my apps.

I'm also learning how much is too much. I had the best of intentions to attend the Austin Social Media Club meetup (on crowdsourcing) yesterday evening, I went home and watched Glee instead. I had a long discussion with myself and the final decision was that I'd really rather be home watching actors pretending to be high schoolers sing and dance. I don't call it lazy, I call it Kelly time.

Are you more productive at a certain time of year? Do you have iPhone apps I should know about? Do you still hand-write your to-do lists?

Sometimes you have to go looking for it....

There have been a few times in the past couple of years when I've tried to remember the last time I felt happy and couldn't do it. It makes me sad just to say that, to say that I had no memory of those moments when you stop and suddenly realize, "I am happy." I could say I was surviving, that I was getting by, that I was making it through the day, that I was productive, that I carried on, that I kept my chin up...but happy?

A few weeks ago I was talking to my BFF from back home and recalling going home for the holidays, how wonderful it felt to be with my family and friends, how great I slept in my mom's guest room, how loved I felt. And when I returned home, after a two-day drive, to my roommate packing up to stay the night at her daughter's house (it was New Year's Eve) and how I had to hold back shrieks of pure joy that I was going to have the house to myself and a quiet night and a shower and clean sheets and my cat and my dog curled up in my warm bed...and I realized it was JULY and the last time I could remember being happy was in fucking JANUARY (well, technically December 31). It made me sad, but before the pity could kick in, I took a giant step back and asked myself, "have you been looking?"

I hadn't. I'd been so consumed with surviving that I was failing to thrive. In pediatric medicine, this is something infants can die from: failure to thrive. It can also be applied to adults, mostly geriatric. I wondered when I became such a grown up that I forgot to look for the joy. One doesn't need freedom from worry to be happy - or money, or the perfect job, or any job, or confidence, or all of the other things on my crazy mental checklist that I waited for so I could finally thrive again.

Granted, in the past couple of months I have been able to cross a few things off that list. I have a roommate to take some of the pressure of the bills off and a new job that I really like, which means a regular paycheck every two weeks. But I was still holding back, still denying myself, still insisting on frugality, refusing to spend a penny on anything I deemed "unnecessary."

Last Saturday, I went to lunch with the roommate and a friend and we stopped at a big box store afterward so the roommate could return something. I found myself wandering the school supplies aisles with my friend, exclaiming over pencil cases and notebooks and gel pens. I had a wonderful sense memory smelling a box of crayons. I remembered that the best thing about the new school year when I was a kid was the new school supplies: a brand new notebook, pens, pencils, a binder (or if I was lucky, a Trapper Keeper, pink - and damn, do they make cooler ones now), paper and dividers and pencil cases. And the waxy smell of crayons.

Standing there, in the middle of rows and rows of Hello Kitty notebooks and pencil sharpeners and multi-packs of pens and wide-ruled filler paper, I realized this was me being happy. Feeling joy. Remembering the possibilities that came with a new school year. Thinking about the possibilities that lie ahead of me now. And I bought that box of crayons. Even if I never use them, I am going to keep them on my desk at home to remind me of what possibility really feels like. Possibility smells like a new box of crayons.

Update from Austin...

I've been in Austin 2 weeks today, so I figured it was time for an update!

It was a lot of work (with help from friends and family, who I owe big time) packing and getting utilities turned off in Charleston and on in Austin, opening a new bank account (I had SC Federal), and getting ready for a really long drive. I have to say (and they're not paying me for this), using UNITS Storage and Moving was the best decision I made. They have amazing customer service, my UNIT was delivered exactly when they said it would be, shipped to San Antonio over the holidays, and the driver from San Antonio actually called me when they left for Austin to give me a heads up on their arrival time. And I did a lot of calling around to similar companies (like PODS) and the quote from UNITS was well under the rest.

On travel: I drove to Austin in my Honday CR-V with a sedated cat in a crate in the back seat and my Pomeranian, Lulu, in the passenger seat next to me. I left on Sunday the 2rd and drove for two and a half days, stayed two nights in Interstate hotels (the first night in Tuscaloosa, AL, and the second in a tiny town called Buffalo in TX). The whole drive was about 21 hours and there was a freak cold front in the deep south. Snow flurries the entire drive through Mississippi that didn't let up until Louisana, having to make frequent stops because of the dog (who was surprisingly patient and well-behaved the entire trip), not being able to find pet-friendly hotels before dark (I hate to drive long distances at night).

But I made it to Austin and so did my furniture. I'm still unpacking because I jumped into work pretty quickly and am now going into the office every day (which is weird after working from home for over a year, but it made me realize how much I missed having a place to go every day and working with other people). I love what I'm working on, even when it's a little stressful.

I get flashes of homesickness from time to time, but am keeping busy and it's exciting to be in a new place and explore a new city. The freakish cold weather has subsided, the sun actually came out this week, and I'm sleeping through the night again.

More soon...and lots of love from Austin!

I am a 21st century fox...

...now, officially. I just had a wireless router installed at home so now I can use my laptop all over the house. I can't believe I didn't get one of these wi-fi things sooner.

It reminds me that I waited until the video store hardly ever had any videos before I bought my first DVD player. Or that my last car still had a cassette player. Or that I still have LPs stored away in a closet (OK, but I no longer own a turntable and I keep my LPs for a different reason).

Watch out internets. I can get you anywhere in my house now.