One of my favorite pastimes is Googling—my own name, the names of people I know, names of other writers, names of B list celebrities. The number of hits on Google for my name can boost or break my mood for an entire day. Sometimes I compare my number of Google hits to the number of hits for someone I don’t like. If I have more hits, I win because it means I am more popular.
What really amuses me is when I run across sites that reference my name but have absolutely nothing to do with me:
Me, if I suddenly started writing fantasy novels and had about a dozen more cats.
Me, if I really, really cared enough about cow farts to make a project out of them.
Me, if I woke up one morning a gay, black man who likes to sing and dance.
Me, if I had a ponytail and a German accent. And a penis.
Me, plus math skills. And a “mom” haircut.
There’s also a Kelly “Love Doll” but it kind of gave me the creeps. Plus, her expertise is “oral” and we all know that’s definitely not me. If you want to see it for yourself, you’ll have to do your own Googling.