Microfamous

Hold me...
It's been about 9 months since my last massage and I'm dying to get one, but I always have to get past my fear that I will do something weird during the massage, like fart or cry.

My last massage was here, and the one before that was here. And I never really have anything bad to say about a massage. Except for the time I got a "deep tissue" sports massage and cursed the assclown who bruised me head to toe for almost a week. And the time I said yes to a "vichi shower" massage and had to wear a disposable thong (don't even go there).

What I really fear is that the masseuse will be massaging a pressure point on my breastbone or something and I'll start having repressed childhood memories and end up sobbing in the corner in a fetal position. He'll be all like, "it's normal to cry during a massage" and I'll be all like, "hold me."