Microfamous

Episode #83: In which she reveals too much about her social phobia
Yes, I'm a (sort of) social phobic. No, I'm not on medication for it. Yes, it's mostly because people bore me. No, I don't plan on doing anything about it.

AND because I wrote all about it in this month's issue of Skirt!, I've had a few friends ask me if I think they are boring small-talkers. For the record, I said no. But it does make me wonder why they immediately assumed I was talking about them.

I think my social phobia would go away if people would made an effort to be more entertaining, interesting, and talk more about things I specifically care about. Like my cat. And Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. And why deer and not deers is the plural of deer. And why the religious right seem to be taking over the country (smart people breed fewer offspring?). And any book that's not on a bestseller list.

People should talk less about the things that make me want to stab myself with a fork. Like what my husband does for a living (I don't have one, and if I did, who the f*ck cares what he does?). What her husband does for a living (trouble with your own identity, sweetie?). Or their neighbor's friend's cousin's college roommate who just started her own line of jewelry/handbags/baby blankets. Or their most recent enlightening experience with yoga/pilates/high colonics. And finally, no childbirth talk around child-free women. If I even think you said "mucus plug," I'm outta there.