I’ve never done that. I would never do that. And shame on you for suggesting it.
About three years ago, my friend Al taught me how to play the “Never Have I Ever” drinking game. For someone who prefers to keep a little distance between my spotty past and the Perfect Me I am today, it’s not a stellar idea to get me intoxicated and entice me to tell the truth, albeit in a discombobulated way. I think I might have been the only one on the planet over 20 and under 30 years old who hadn’t played Never Have I Ever before. And even before I slammed five margaritas, the rules confused me. I might have even ‘fessed up to things that I didn’t actually do.
Regardless, Al and I are still friends. Because she’s smart and nice and funny and not because she knows things about me that could ruin my life should they be made public.
Shall we? You know the drill. Grab the beverage of your choice (or a shot glass and bottle of anything over 90 proof if you’re not a weenus) and play along.
Never have I ever...
* Wanted to backhand someone just for saying “um” one too many times.
* “Accidentally” lost someone’s email because I didn’t feel like responding.
* Pretended to like children because daddy is a hottie, or felt my heart leap with joy when I found out he only sees them every other weekend.
* Lied to someone I was in love with.
* Kissed a friend’s boyfriend.
* Left an event and pretended I had another to go to, when I really just wanted to get home in time to watch something on television.
Your turn. You wouldn’t let me drink alone, would you?