It's all about the hair...
I can't stand that Bravo show, Blow Out. I really can't. Not the taut-faced, self-involved Jonathan ("dude, it's about the hair"). Not the "rocker chick" who breastfeeds her kid all over the salon ("should I let my baby STARVE???"), not the fake-boobs skank with the immobile forehead who forces her plastic surgeon to consult with everyone in the salon ("but I haven't had anything above my neck done YET"), not the 'mo who whines about the other stylists, not the assistant attached to Jonathan's ass, not the name-dropping queens, not his stupid ass girlfriend (watching her FEED HIM SOUP was repulsive), not the two women marketing his product who act like high-strung, brain-damaged chihuahuas.
No, I wasn't trapped under my sofa just out of reach of the remote during the marathon last weekend. But I'm watching it, obviously. Maybe I just like to feel superior. Maybe I'm drawn to 30-minute discussions about hair products. Maybe I like men who are crybabies after all. Or maybe something is WRONG with me.
Seriously, I almost bought the Jonathan hair products on Sephora last weekend. I caught myself talking about the show in the office on Monday. Consider this my plea for help. Somebody stop me, for crying out loud, before I get extensions and an upper lip implant. Make it go away so I can stop being alternately repulsed by the show and disgusted with myself. I am weak and cannot summon the will to turn it off. Damn Bravo and their TV transmission mind control. Damn them to hell.
(sheepish)
ReplyDeleteI like that show. It just proves to me that I'd hate living in LA. I'm not sure why I like it...but for some reason, when it's on, I can't bring myself to change the channel.
I catch myself drawn to it, even though I too (claim to) detest it. Now I know how people addicted to crack feel. Or maybe not.
ReplyDeleteOh. My. God. Turn off the TV, I'll wrangle folks up for an intervention. I read this post with what I'm sure would be a hilarious look on my face...part disgust, part pity.
ReplyDeleteNO TV SHOWS ABOUT HAIR SALONS!!!
I love the show and I don't feel the least bit embarrassed by it. It's dreadful, mesmerizing and banal, but so what? Do I really think that if I weren't forced to watch bad tv I would instead be writing a novel, hatching up a life-saving vaccine or adopting a baby in Africa? Nah...I'd probably be reading US.
ReplyDeleteI religiously watched the first season because it was such a total and utter trainwreck that I just couldn't turn away. But this season? It makes me want to scoop my eyeballs out of their sockets with a rusty grapefruit spoon. The whole show makes me cry inside like a trapped gorilla baby. Seriously.
ReplyDelete