Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Reason #43 why I love this time of year...
Holiday cards put the christ in my Christmas, the jeez in my Jesus, and the fruit in my fruitcake. My favorites (and I won't name any names, though you know who you are):

All the way from the great state of Texas: "May the simple joys of the holidays be yours," along with a scrawled "All my love, bitch!" One of the few men in the world who I wouldn't make suffer for calling me a bitch. Seriously, he gets away with murder.

A cutout Santa face card that says "Happy Christmas!" The best part, written on the inside: "remember how unhappy I was this time last year? Oh, how times have changed." Yes, indeed they have. And you deserve every bit of it.

Love. Laugh. Celebrate. The best part: It came with a mix CD of some of my favorite music in the whole world, particularly "Baby It's Cold Outside" (I love me some Ella) and "Whatever Lola Wants" (I always replace Lola with KLo in my head).

A "secret admirer" card (yes, I know who you are) that said, simply: "her lips said 'adios'...but her eyes said 'hasta luego'." I'm not going to tell you what was written on the back, but lets just say that my secret admirer doesn't have a passing familiarity with the spanish language. Or the english language, for that matter.

And then there are the Anne Taintors, the MikWrights, and the oh-so-special family photo holiday cards from distant relatives (so distant that we're not actually related by blood or marriage) make me giggle my ass off.

Checking the mail is like, well, Christmas every day. I am chock full of holiday spirit.


  1. Ha! I always replace Lola with Ida and sing with emphatic resolve. Glad you are enjoying the compilation.

    Now let's all review the lyrics of Eartha Kitt's legendary ode to "Santa Baby". I find it incredibly on target.


    Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's
    Not a lot

  2. Nice cards. My friends and I have a contest who can send the most offensive card...this gives me a chuckle every december.


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