Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Confessions of a reformed bad girl...
As a society, we're fascinated by the stories of liars, cheats, thieves, and drug addicts. And then we're surprised when they lie, cheat, or steal? Unfortunately, this dumbass had to call his work "nonfiction memoir" and go on Oprah to talk about it. If he had called it fiction, he probably wouldn't have made the bestseller list. Then again, that Da Vinci Code piece of crap did.

Am I being cynical? I realize that people can change, but they don't always do so. If I wrote an essay about being a pathological liar, and then was outed for lying about it, would you be shocked?

If the answer is yes, wait until my own memoir is published, then be outraged when I (a) sleep with your husband, (b) do all of your drugs, (c) get the promotion you've been gunning for at work, or (d) throw you under a bus. Or (e) all of the above.


  1. I'd never even heard of his book, so I could give a shit less whether he lied or not. It's a book, for chrissake. It's art. You read it for entertainment.

    Could you believe how craptacular the Da Vinci code was? I can't believe that lame book sold ten copies. People would be running from an armed assassin and suddenly...a dissertation on the history of some stupid statue. It's like, "Run, you dumbass!" However, on the plus side, I do get to snicker at those fruity signs up all over Charleston that says, "Was Jesus Married? NO! Fight the wages of sin...Down With the Da Vinci Code!" Now that's comedy.

  2. Dan Brown's writing SUCKS and yet somehow I have two of his crappy books in my possession. How has this happened? I thought I was alone in my hatred for him, so reading posts (and comments) like this is very reassuring.

    I have started advertising this link: http://www.thefridayproject.co.uk/lbl/amnesty/ - check it out!

    I wonder what they're going to do with all the books they end up with though, maybe a mass burning is in order? What else could we put in there? Something that will annoy the Christians, I wouldn't want them thinking I'm agreeing with why they hate the Da Vinci Code.

  3. What a moron. I specifically didn't buy the book because it WAS an Oprah book pick.

    Have you ever read Running With Scissors or Dry? Now those are memoirs...and damn good ones.

  4. I had just read the info on the smoking gun about this loser when I read your post. I cannot believe that Oprah's folks didn't do a better job of researching this jerk. Wonder if we will hear any kind of follow-up from her? Will she admit she has been duped? Ticks me off he has become a millionaire with that crap.

  5. I shouldn't say this, because some of them probably read my blog, but whenever someone tells me how much they liked the Da Vinci Code, they drop a few points on my regard-o-meter.

    The Christian protest groups are so funny about it...I wonder if they understand that it is FICTION. Bad fiction, yes. But fiction doesn't have to make sense. Wow do they ever give all Christians a bad name.

  6. off topic - I just saw Match Point and the entire time couldn't stop thinking that the Chloe character looked exactly like Miranda July.

  7. The crazy DaVinci Code people makes my mom's life a living hell. She works at Borders and they all look for the stupid book in the Non-Fiction section. She spends each day through clenched teeth explaining why it isn't "real". Ugggh

  8. Melina - I love Augusten Burroughs! Now that's a man who doesn't have to make sh*t up to write a book. However, when he does, he calls it fiction.

    Pink - It's that Emily something or other who was in Punch Drunk Love...I haven't seen Match Point, but she does look like Miranda. It's the eyes I think.

  9. It's Emily Watson.

    And I love Augusten Burroughs. They are making a movie of "Scissors" and showed a preview of it during the "Nip/Tuck" finale. I was stoked until they said, coming Fall 2006. If they have enough to show a long trailer then why the wait?

    I agree with all you Da Vinci haters but think it's hilarious that people look for it in non-fiction. Wow! I never even thought of that.

    Oh, and I never buy Oprah books either but saw this one in Costco (now I know why) and bought it. Can't decide whether to go ahead and read it or burn it in the fire.

    I think I'll read Joan Didion's book instead. I heard it was wonderful.


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