I rock so hard I almost can't stand myself...
My new Sailor Jerry t-shirt arrived via UPS last week and I wore it on Friday with my vintage Levis and studded leather belt. No one in this city looked as cool as I did. No one had to say it. I could tell by the way they averted their eyes from my cool-ness.
Vintage tattoo art is one of my favorite things. I can't wait to get some new ink on my wrist (and all the way up my arm, if I have my way). I'm even considering studying to be a tattoo artist (part-time, of course, as a second career). I could spend the next 20 years as an apprentice and when I'm too addled to string two sentences together anymore, I can spend my days permanently marking the bodies of others. I must clarify by saying I would specialize in classic tattoo design and never would I ever (EVER!) put one of the following on someone's body: (a) Tweety Bird, (b) a dolphin, (c) a man's name (or a woman's...it goes both ways), or (d) any beer company logo. But if you want a pinup girl, skull and crossbones, hearts, flames, snakes, eagles, Harley-Davidson, or "death before dishonor," I'm all over it. Just give me some time to practice on citrus fruit, cadavers, and gullible friends (in that order).
Girl, you will change your tune once I reveal the Miller High Life girl on the small of my back (drunken Mardi Gras souvenir... being 19 sure is sweet... YEEEEAAAHHH!). I can't believe I've never shown off my ink before. Dang!
ReplyDeleteNo offense, but I would NEVER trust you with an instrument-o-permanent-ink-torture. You're liable to pen "Stank Ass Ho" when the request is for a yin and yang. Wait, wait! What a great TLC show concept: KLo takes on the world with her freebasing tattoo pen.
Must. Stop. Sniffing. Glue.
Uhm, didn't you have a painful tattoo removal incident? What the hell is going on with you? Do I need to come to Charleston and preppy-tize your ass?
ReplyDeleteYou rock indeed. I followed the link and attempted to order the men's nurse-tatt classic, but the following message came up:
ReplyDelete"Order declined as you insufficiently rock. Regrets, mate!"
My browser was then re-directed to an Eeyore hoodie at The Disney Store.
Charlie, you definitely need to come here for a little intervention. Just a tiny one. Maybe I can drag my Lacoste shirts out of the back of the closet...if I haven't already used them to wash the car.
ReplyDeleteJason, I can't wait to see your new Eeyore hoodie. I'm sure it rocks just as hard as Sailor Jerry.
I <3 Sailor Jerry and Pinup girls...
ReplyDeleteand tattoos are my only safe addiction, it's a good thing my bf finds them attractive!
Melina, you might have to be my new BFF. Loved your post about co-workers stopping by to gawk at your tattoo. I get that a lot with my nose ring, except I forget that I have it in and think they're staring at a dingly-dangly in my nose.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Charlie. That was my first thought "Didn't she spend like half her life getting a tattoo removed?"
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I may be in the minority but I would totally trust you to put a tattoo on me.