Friday, June 02, 2006

Brought to you by the letter “F” and the scary monsters under my bed…

I once made an "Encyclopedia of Fear" in which I listed everything I was afraid of, in alphabetical order, with drawings and an index. Great project for kids, right? I actually stole the idea from one of my nieces’ school projects — when I was 30.

In honor of my upcoming trip to NYC (fear of flying is the one I promised myself I would overcome this year), the “F” page from my Fear Encyclopedia:

Failure. Everyone will find out I’m not really as smart/talented/amusing as they think I am and that I’ve been faking it all this time.

Father. He taught me everything I ever need to know about being afraid before I was 10 (see also “Rage-a-holics”)

Feelings. Many past and current self-destructive habits are the direct result of trying to create a barrier between me and my own emotions. (see also “Weakness”)

Flying. I flew occasionally despite my fear for a long time. I was scheduled to fly to NYC on September 13, 2001. My flight was canceled. And that was that. (see also “Planes”)

Food. If I could take a pill three times a day and never have to think about calories, carbs, or chocolate again, I’d do it. (see also “Love/Hate Relationships")

Fragments. I used to date a writer who thought he was Hemingway reincarnated. Maybe he was, but he followed the pattern so authentically that no-one will ever know. (see also “Sentence Fragments”)

Frogs. I won’t leave the house if one is on the sidewalk. I don’t swim in pools at night unless someone has done a frog check first. However, I am not afraid of snakes. (see also "Ranidaphobia")

11 comments:

  1. I think Frogs are adorable, but I'm scared of them to. I think it's because they jump at you.

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  2. Did you draw the frog? It is quite a clever picture.

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  3. I didn't draw the frog! I'm a better draw-er than that. I just think it looks evil, like all frogs are.

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  4. I'd add farts and foot fungus to the list.

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  5. Don't lie. You are not scared of farts OR foot fungus.

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  6. I haven't alpha sorted my fears but I once figured out that I especially suck in the "D" categories - dancing, diving, drinking, dusting....an don an don...

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  7. But what KLo doesn't say in this post is that she's really one of the few truly fearless people I've ever known.

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  8. Heh, yeah. Sept. 13, 2001? I would probably never fly again either.

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  9. I have only recently developed a healthy respect for amphibians. I can't tell the difference between frogs and toads and I feel guilty for trying to classify them. What if they just want to be known as amphibians?

    Why do we (humans) always have to label everything? We have to know is it a toad/frog, are you black/white, liberal/conservative...Damn, can't an amphibian, just be an amphibian?

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  10. Charlie, I love you for believing my bullshit. I used to be afraid of everything. I'm only afraid of some things now. I'm still afraid of frogs, but I think I've crossed pretty much all the others on this page off, including flying now that I'm back safe and sound.

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  11. Okay - once I was at a winter jacuzzi party, got drunk, and jumped into the cold, dirty swimming pool to retrieve a dead frog because someone said I would NEVER do it.

    I guess I don't have frogophobia...

    8-)

    M

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