Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Serious inquires only...

Wanted: One heterosexual male friend for friendship and activities that may or may not include: video games, movies, attending weddings, salsa dancing, kickboxing, short-to-medium phone conversations, discussions about why men behave the way they do, boyfriend recommendations and/or referrals, a couch to sleep on when I am unable to drive home, and road trips to Lands o' Kitsch (aka Giant Balls of Twine, Enchanted Forests, Dollywood, and any museum featuring Jackie O memorabilia). Must be able to read at a college level. Must always think I'm pretty in a totally non-sexual way, even when I am not wearing makeup. Must always find me fascinating and reciprocate by being fascinating. The unattached (or attached to non-jealous female) are preferred. Ownership of tuxedo a plus. Serious inquiries only.

Think I'm kidding? I'm not.


  1. If you find that man, you should clone him and sell the duplicates. Although...did you ever read that Salon.com story about The Perfect Man. Scary.

    Anyway, I did actually fall in a crevasse once, which was more embarrassing than painful. In British Columbia on the Columbian Ice Fields. All the Chinese tourists took pictures while I dangled there.

  2. I did read that Salon article! It reminded me of Second Life, something else I'll never do. My real life might be imperfect, but I like it that way.

    And if I do find my perfect male friend I will clone him, but only so I can keep extra copies on hand for when I piss version 1.0 off.

    I can't believe you actually fell into a crevasse.

  3. I've found that I have had this same problem ever since I left college. I had mostly platonic, male friends in college, but in the real world, they are outrageously hard to find. Maybe they will heed your plea and realize that sometimes we just want to be friends, without the complicated datey stuff.

  4. Keep wearing the "feminist" t-shirt doll and you just might find what you are looking for. Perhaps, post something in the "wanted"-section of the City Paper-you can find just about anything you are looking for in there.
    If you still have a prob finding this "perfect man" take two roofies and call me in the morning. I have a dozen friends looking for a cool chick to pal around with and to make sure they don't make a faux-pas at their local drinking hole when they pick-up chicks.

  5. Totally off topic....You have gorgeious eyebrows! Do you have a good person you go to, or do you do them yourself? Currently I am looking a little Yeti so I need to find a good place to go have them waxed, etc. Sorry for such a random question! :)

  6. Taylor - I'm beginning to agree with you.

    Jet - Really? I haven't worn it in a while, but if boys really dig it when I rock the radical feminist tee, I'll break it out again. Roofies...hmmm. Haven't had a connection for those since college. Can you hook me up, doll? And your friends sound awesome.

    CG - Long time no hear! I do them myself (tweeze) unless I'm in a city (like NY) that has threading. Never wax! My dermatologist says it is way bad. I don't actually have to do much, I was blessed with good brow shape from birth. I heard there is a place in N Chas that does threading now. Want to try it?


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