Why I love the internets...

(I accidentally typed "live" instead of "love" and almost left it that way...I am face-in-computer 99% at work and about 50% at home, if my iPhone counts as internets.)

I'm laptop-bound, smart phone saddled and soon, cuddling a Kindle (the version I pre-ordered doesn't come out until Nov. 21). I've caught myself (maybe twice) wanting to point my phone* at the stocked shelves in a grocery store so it could find the particular brand and product (shampoo, whole wheat couscous, balsamic vinegar) for which I was searching. Ten years ago if you'd asked how much time I thought I'd spend online, I would have thrown the word "luddite" at you. Today I'm wondering just how long before I can download my dreams port-to-port.

[insert segue here] I love llamas. The llama is my spirit animal. One of my dearest friends got married in Asheville on a farm with llamas. I attended her wedding with two other dear friends. These things are not related, except that one of my favorite pictures of that day is me + llama. And because one of my favorite time-sucks online is Pinterest, I love knowing that I am not the only one who loves llamas.

Speaking of weddings in Asheville, my super smart and savvy friend Aleigh shares her organic beauty love and insight with the world at Indigo + Canary. It completely makes sense that what you put on your body goes into your body, but I never really understood how it can negatively affect my health. I now use chemical-free shampoo, makeup and skin care (and she's hunting down some great at-home hair color that passes the organic test for an upcoming post).

I've been mulling over my next tattoo for almost two years now. I keep returning to this one (quote by Kurt Vonnegut). I shared it with my BFF from college who still lives in Charleston and now she's mulling it over too.

We're finally getting cooler weather in Austin - it dropped 30-something degrees quickly last night and was in the high 40s early this morning. I celebrated by buying this gorgeous weekend sweater online from The Gap and can't wait for it to arrive.

I picked up my new glasses earlier this week and love them. While they don't exactly make me look like Zooey Deschanel, they are slightly adorkable.

Also, fall makes me happy, I love my job and I feel healthier after just under a week of packing my lunch for work. The weekend's almost here. I'm wearing my favorite boots today. My dog has two Halloween costumes. A library book I've been waiting for (Laurie Notaro's latest) has finally arrived. All is right in the world.

*If you take this idea and make an app for it, consider this my copyright claim and trademark. Please get my name right when you send the check.

Luck and the meaning of life...

Way back in 2003, my best friend Mary Kathryn gave me this scroll with a"true meaning of life" quote by H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama.

It says: "We are visitors on this planet. We are here for one hundred years at the very most. During that period we must try to do something good, something useful, with our lives. if you contribute to other people's happiness, you will find the true meaning of life."

It currently hangs on the wall in my kitchen where I can see it every morning when I brew my coffee and every evening when I take my vitamins. I read it at least once a day, and it gives me perspective on how I spend my time.

I've experienced setbacks in the journey to find my own meaning and the right place for me. I've had great joy and inspiration, but also have had to deal with having tiny little bubbles of hope burst unexpectedly. And not only does it sting, but it also makes me question my own judgment. One of the ways I try NOT to deal with that is to be hard on myself, but like most people, I seek blame internally. I find myself asking what I did wrong, what I didn't do right, how could I have screwed up so badly, and worse: whats wrong with me. Spend enough time inside your head being so critical, and that voice just gets louder.

Separating yourself from that internal criticism, reaching out to someone else who needs a boost more than you do, contributing to the happiness of others, and putting the brakes on wondering what's wrong can give you a different outlook on what's right. I'm not always great at doing it, but having little reminders like this one helps. And having it because it was given to me by a dear friend who understands me well enough to know that I need that reminder? Priceless.

I never thought I'd feel this old at 22...

"Jules, you know, honey...this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

-Billy (Rob Lowe) from St. Elmo's Fire, which turned 25 years old this week.

First, I own this movie on DVD, even though it comes on cable about once a month. Second, Rob Lowe with a dangly earring. Third, Emilio Estevez is the only male cast member NOT working the "I'm so intense" gaze thing. Finally, I only watch it for the last half hour when everything falls apart and Demi Moore has a breakdown in her empty apartment - one of the top greatest movie scenes of all time.

Reality versus platitudes...

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
~Rose Kennedy

I love this quote and remember it every time someone tells me "time heals all wounds" - not because I want to hold on to my wounds, but because my wounds made me who I am now. Scar tissue makes one stronger. And the fact is, they never do go away.

Adding "platitudes" to my list of pet peeves, right after "people who wear cheap perfume."

I am too disgruntled about too many things...

...to write a coherent post today (unless you really want to hear me bitch about a bunch of stupid, random crap that you won't care about anyway), but I will offer the following:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
~ Mark Twain

And because I'm doing this new thing where I'm trying to phrase things in a positive manner (don't freak out...I don't think there is any danger of me turning into Ms. Mary Sunshine):

I am lucky that I get to spend so much time around people who are really great and not small.
~Me