Thursday, December 16, 2004

Wink, wink. Wink. Wink.
Congratulations may be in order, as I think I might be engaged. To the guy who works at a downtown convenience store that I stop in three or four times a week. Long story short: He's not from the U.S. (don't ask me where he's from...I'm terrible at might be Israel. Or Istanbul.). Anyway, I was in the store buying a YooHoo chocolate beverage and a pack of cigarettes. I made the usual "hi, bye" conversation at the counter, except this time I was WINKING. Subtly. Because of my eye twitch.

He asked, "how are you?" like four times, sort of grinning/leering at the same time, then suddenly started talking to his brother, who was in the back of the store. And not in English. His brother walked behind me, chucked me on the arm, and said, "congratulations, sister!"

What the...???!??!

Yes, I am always nice to the convenience store man. He knows my brand so I don't have to ask for cigarettes, which he knows embarrasses me because I was supposed to quit. He knows I like plain almonds in the can, and that I usually buy five or six packages of gum at a time (for the office). But I don't think you can base a marriage on that. I don't know the rules and customs of other countries. In his country, winking might mean I agreed to marry him. Maybe it even means that I asked him.

Damn twitch. I'm going to start wearing an eye patch.


  1. You've broken my heart for the last time.

  2. (snort)

    I am going to have to stop reading your blog at work if you don't quit making me laugh out loud (seemingly at nothing).


    What should I buy as an engagement gift? A carton of smokes?

    (Actually, now I'm not so sure if I shouldn't try the winking thing myself...)

  3. Thanks! (wink) Really, (wink) I mean it. (wink) I might need a camel for the dowry, if you have an extra one. (wink)

  4. This Just In: Kelly Love starts a new magazine - "Burka!" - from her new home in Jalalabad...

    We'll miss you, dear...

  5. OK, I did just have almost an entire bottle of champagne to myself -- but I ALMOST PEED MYSELF ABOUT A MAGAZINE CALLED BURKA. Holy crap. Jay! I think we ought to create that magazine.

    It would be all the rage in the middle east.

  6. I'm all about it!
    I think the "Fatwa" and "Men pray to Mecca - women pray to Yemen" sections would be huge hits!

  7. I totally relate. I almost got engaged to a man at the box store last March. I kept going in to buy more and more boxes because I was moving and seriously underestimated the amount of crap I had. He was always helpful, so I would smile at him and chat a little. He seemed more and more besotted, until one day I came in with my actual fiance. It never would have worked between us anyway...he was from Turkey and I am half-Greek.


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