Microfamous

I got tagged...
I’ve been meme-tagged by Viv, who is not a lemming but cannot resist hurling herself off the cliff with them. Apparently, I can’t either.

I'm supposed to post the list of unfinished statements below, add one or two of my own, then finish 5 of them. Then I have to pick 3 other bitches to carry this godforsaken thing on.

If I could be an assassin's bullet
If I could be a member of the opposite sex
If I could be a list of blog questions
If I could be a ninja
If I could be a fly on the wall
If I could be a rodeo clown
If I could be totally at peace
If I could be a cat burglar
If I could be a supermodel
If I could be in a movie
If I could be an artist
If I could be a psychic
If I could be an emergency medical technician
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be a service member
If I could be an actor
If I could be a porn star
If I could be a chimney sweep
If I could be a masseuse
If I could be a taxi driver
If I could be a priest
If I could be the Sheriff Of Nottingham
If I could be on a reality TV show
If I could be a rich man
If I could be perfect
If I could be a comedian
If I could be a scary bear
If I could be a philandering wife

If I could be a member of the opposite sex it would probably take me a long time to figure out what how to work my new penis. Besides that, not much else would change.

If I could be on a reality TV show I’d trick everyone else into thinking I was really, really nice, but then screw them over during the final episode and win all the money.

If I could be a ninja, my first year would consist of nothing but kicking the asses of all of the people I think deserve an ass-kicking. Then I would get down to ninja business.

If I could be totally at peace...I’d save a lot of money on therapy (past & future).

If I could be in a movie it would be a movie about cheerleaders or drag queens and I would get to do my own stunts. And I would have super powers. And lots of wardrobe changes. And Keanu Reeves would be my co-star, but he wouldn’t have a single line.

The bitches that are up next: I choose Nobody, Melina, and Jackie (don’t hate me).