Oh masochistic me...
Because I like to put on my waders and muck around in nostalgia this time of year, I recently pulled my box of notebooks out of storage (I have journals going back to high school) and started re-reading them.
Last night, I found an entry that made me realize I should always, always (always!) trust my instincts.
When you know someone well and for a long time, you sometimes forget how you met them. And I had forgotten how I met him, but had written about it shortly after our first meeting, long before the madness began. It wasn't specifically about him (not in the junior high-gushing over the cute guy way), but at the very end I wrote about a conversation we had, adding a footnote summation: "He's the kind of guy who would gleefully break my heart if I let him."
And? And I let him.
See, when I chance across stuff I wrote back in high school, I drench it in lighter fluid and toss it on the backyard grill, followed fast by a lit match.
ReplyDeleteYou think I'm kidding?
S'cool that you keep everything you write.
ReplyDeleteIf you dated men with the brawn instead of with the brain, you wouldn't have these problems. Or maybe you would. Who knows? I hardly know you but I already love you enough for two ex boyfriends. I have both brawn and brains so you have to take me seriously.
Back AWAY from the box, Kel.
ReplyDeleteOh, and CT? Email me -- I'll give you Kel's number. Heh.
The most pathetic part? and I let him
ReplyDeleteOooooooooh, the pain! Ooooooh, the misery. Ooooooh, why do I do it over and over again?!