Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls...
Someday, I am going to create a web site full of facts about myself modeled after Chuck Norris Facts. The first fact will be "Kelly Love gets fan mail from Chuck Norris." Followed by:

* Kelly Love goes where angels fear to tread.
* Kelly Love can shoot out the eye of a small rodent with deadly accuracy.
* It is rumored that Kelly Love's real biological father is Elvis Presley.
* A photo of Kelly Love's legs is on file at the International Museum of The Most Beautiful Body Parts Ever.
* So many men have dumped their girlfriends for Kelly Love that, in the medical community, heartsickness is referred to as "The Kelly Love Disease."
* Kelly Love is the subject of numerous documentaries, both authorized and unauthorized.
* It doesn't matter who the woman next to you is or what she looks like. Kelly Love is prettier, smarter, and a thousand times more interesting.
* Kelly Love has x-ray vision.
* When people have a difficult decision to make, they ask themselves, "what would Kelly Love do?"
* Kelly Love's breasts are so perky, she has to have her bras custom-made.
* Some people believe that Kelly Love is a mythological creature.

9 comments:

  1. Okay, you were right, it's hilarious--

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  2. Proof that Kelly Love is more awesome than Chuck. I say that grudgingly...as Chuck and I have the same birthday, and somehow that makes me cool too. :)

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  3. Add "Kelly Love is never wrong."

    Melina, I can think of five more reasons off the top of my head why you're cool and none of them have to do with Chuck. Make that six. Seven. And if you can roundhouse kick above the shoulder? Eight.

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  4. Laughed my ass off at this post . . . especially the link to CHuck's facts.

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  5. *Kelly Love's muse never sleeps.
    *B.B. King's guitar is actually called Kelly Love...Lucille is it's nickname.
    *Kelly Love has two speeds funny and spew diet coke on my computer screen hysterical!
    You are hilarious!

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  6. Kelly Love is the Queen of Everything.

    I think you need a sash. Trip to Michael's with some Thai and graphic novels on the side? Say the word.

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  7. Kelly Love can murder dangling participles with lasers from her EYES.

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  8. So damn funny! I thought of another one.
    "Kelly Love can scare other people just by thinking about them."

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  9. I havent read anything this funny since, um well, the chuck norris facts site. I have to wonder if you really do have to have your bras specially made and if they really do that sort of thing.

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