Thursday, November 30, 2006

Is there a gene marker for taste?

This is the "yard art" my sister put up for the holidays that made me (once again) wonder if I was adopted.Don't get me wrong; I'm not the Queen of Class or anything. I love a good hoedown, pig roast, or flea market. My plates are Fiesta Ware, not Fine China. My dining table is a formica number from the 50s. I have a snowglobe collection. I had an Elvis clock before I broke it in 2001 in a fit of pique. I'm not opposed to front-yard flamingos (as long as one doesn't leave them up for 20-odd years, put little seasonal outfits on them, and refer to them as "the Altman children"). I even own a pair of cutoffs.

For the holidays, I love a bit of kitsch. Lots of outdoor lights, a few reindeer, even a wonderland critter or an Away in a Manger yard tableau. I personally own a festive pink aluminum tree that I decorate with mirrored disco balls and proudly display in my bay window. But I do think one must draw the line somewhere, and I think Santa on a motorcycle with Frosty in the sidecar slightly crosses the line. In case the photo doesn't do it justice, it is HUGE. Taller than I am. Taller than my sister's husband. And it's hooked up to some kind of air filter thingy that makes it MOVE, you know, like Santa is revving the engine. The neighborhood children are terrified, but it could be worse. At least it isn't a 12-foot Jesus high-fiving Santa inside of a snowglobe on their front lawn.

I'm totally getting them a leg lamp for their front window for Christmas this year.


  1. I love that pink tree. It reminds me of my favorite book as a child, some kind of bears and they lived in pastel colored trees.

    Yeah, that blow up yard stuff defies logic. I love the leg lamp idea!

  2. Lord, where do they live? Mustang Rolling needs to go park his car in front of it.

  3. That sure is sort of...uh...colorful?

  4. Hilton Head! I'm sure they'll have an entire biker club on their lawn within a couple of weeks though, so Mustang might want to wait for the good stuff. And if my sister reads this and finds out about the high-fiving Jesus, well...that just might be incorporated into the scenery.

    We have a deal though: She knows I'm giving her sh*t and I know she's only doing this because my 2-year-old nephew is old enough to appreciate it (and because her husband doesn't ask permission before he brings the crap home). Really, my whole family is classy as hell.

    JLee - I think HUGE is the word you're looking for!

  5. Hey! We're going out this weekend to look for some gaudy Christmas decor around the area. (You might see it on an upcoming Christmas card).

    Also, there's a house on Dunnemann with so many plastic Christmas creatures in the yard that it made me wonder how in the world they store them Feb.-October.

  6. Biffle's dad cannot resist a deal, so one year they came home with somebody's handmade yard art that they'd gotten for quite the bargain. It was a flat painted plywood Santa head on a stake, and it had a sign attached that said "Season Greetings." They put it up in the yard every year.

  7. Oh hell no. Santa's gone Harley? These people so deserve a leg lamp. Do it, I dare ya!

  8. I would pay enormous amounts of money for a leg lamp. And equally as much for the box marked "fra-gee-leh."

    ... and thanks for adding me to your blogroll. :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...