Monday, July 23, 2007

Where a kid can be a kid...

[insert list of lame-o excuses to why I haven't posted in two weeks here...include home a/c crapping out, followed by office a/c, heatstroke, hairballs, business, book edits, another chapter, work, work, work.]

The past couple of weeks are a blur, so I'll skip it and jump right to how I spent yesterday afternoon. Or where I spent yesterday afternoon, rather. Chuck E. Cheese. For my niece's third birthday party. For two hours. Seriously.

The party was at the Chuck E. Cheese on Rivers Ave. because my niece's mother thinks it is cleaner than the one West Ashley (I took her word for it, as I have no point of reference because the last time I was at a Chuck E. Cheese I was in third grade). I thought I'd show up, play a few video games, give my niece a card full of cash, then leave. Had to scrap the video game idea because my 2-year-old nephew was also there; his mother put him down and he took off. She pointed and told me not to let him out of my sight, and that was it for the day. The kid is two, but he knows what tokens are (and part of the fun for him is shoving two, three, four into any machine that would take them, including the tampon dispenser in the women's restroom).

When we finally did settle down at the table (which is right in front of giant video screens playing the Chuck E. Cheese devil music), half of the little ones were terrified of the "live" Chuck E. and the other half cried when he went away. The pizza looked like it was from a freezer box, so I went for the salad bar (ended up with mostly lettuce and dressing because of the "unidentified" objects in various salad bar containers...I think I saw a plastic monkey in the cottage cheese). I gave up on chasing the kids down and concentrated on not going insane from the volume and screaming (mine) and being shaken down for tokens every three minutes.

If you want a little taste of what the experience was like, turn up your speaker volume past 10 and play this fifty times in a row.

After I got home, I took a long, hot shower to get the blue frosting out of my hair and the pizza party-kid vomit-bad pineapple smell out of my nostrils. Also realized the only way I'll ever be able to do the kid thing is to also give myself permission for a full-blown valium addiction ("yes, sweetie, mommy's passed out on the couch again"). Otherwise, no way, no how, not now, not ever. Ask me again next week.

Monday, July 09, 2007

You take the good, you take the bad...

(now try to go through your day without the "Facts of Life" theme running through your head...)

The Good
* Joined a gym and have been going three times a week (in addition to weekly yoga).
* Bought new sneaks and workout clothes to go with gym membership.
* Got hair cut and colored (dark brown with cherry red underneath) as a reward for hitting the gym.
* Book proposal #2 coming together very nicely.
* Napping on rainy weekends is awesome.
* Cuddled up on the couch to watch Apocalypse Now Redux for the first time on Friday and it was stunning. And three hours long. For someone with my attention span, that's a high compliment. I already knew Coppola was a genius (I've memorized most of The Godfather I and II), but DAMN.

The Bad
* My a/c at home seems to be slowly tanking. Have to run it nonstop just to keep temp inside below 78 degrees (and I like it to be closer to 70 indoors).
* I had a flat tire this morning.
* The fix-a-flat I attempted to use to inflate said flat exploded all over me. I cleaned up as best as I could before driving car to Gerald's, but it soaked through my shirt and also got into my hair, so I reek of fix-a-flat (which smells a LOT like gasoline).
* My essay for the August issue is a piece of shit. I have to fix it immediately, but I am high on fix-a-flat fumes and consumed with scamming a ride back to Gerald's later today. And also worried about whether or not HVAC people will call me back. If they don't, I'm coming to live with you.
* Am I a bad feminist for not wanting to deal with all of this bullshit all by myself?

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