Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Reason #11* why I'm probably going to hell**...

On the night of my 12th birthday I punched a boy in the face for calling me a stupid whore.

Kevin was my best friend Shelley's older brother and picked on us a lot. He was a freshman in high school, the sort of dorky kid who liked to hang out with younger kids because it made him feel smart and strong; we were in middle school. I was laughing at a joke or something else, and he leaned over and whispered "stupid whore" into my ear, whispered it so no one else could hear, whispered it like a verdict. It's a little fuzzy now, but I'm pretty sure I recoiled. I remember being angry like a white flash, being temporarily blinded by it. And remember very distinctly the feeling of my balled-up fist hitting his flesh, the sound it made when it connected. It was the first time I ever hit someone in anger.

Even though I had to act like I was sorry when my mother apologized to his, I wasn't sorry. I wasn't sorry when his mom came to pick them up because his nose wouldn't stop bleeding. I wasn't sorry the next day at the bus stop when I saw I'd given him a black eye. I think I even smirked at him. And other than having an adult perspective of feeling sorry for him (because he was probably teased mercilessly for being a weenie), I'm still not sorry.

* I'm starting with #11 because I'm pretty sure I've broken all but one of the original commandments.
** If the universe is guided by an omniscient and/or monotheistic presence and if we really are sentient puppets and if there really is a heaven and a hell...

8 comments:

  1. Oh, I don't know. I mean, he deserved some form of retribution, and seeing as how you were a child on the verge of preteen, and your prefrontal cortex wasn't completely developed yet, I think maybe the punishment fit the crime.

    Words can be incredibly hurtful, more so, even, than a busted nose.

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  2. Let me guess which pissed you off more, the stupid part or the whore part? So the message here would be "don't call me a stupid whore unless you want a black eye"?
    I'm glad you hit him.

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  3. I think you're in the clear on this one.

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  4. erm... which commandment HAVEN'T you broken then?

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  5. You're in the clear. I checked.

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  6. When I was in 4th grade, a 7th grade boy kept hitting me on the head with his HUGE math book - I suppose to look cool in front of the older girls. (??)

    I got my dad to teach me how to "punch like a guy", and the next time the boy hit me on the head, I sucker punched him in the eye.

    The first funny part about this is that the kid's dad was a cop, and he called my dad during dinner to find out if I (a 4th grade GIRL) really gave his son a black eye on the bus.

    The second funny part about this is that both the kid I punched and I ended up becoming cops in the same department, neighboring precincts, and would see each other, in passing, at work.

    We always smiled and said hello in the friendliest of manners...

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  7. I feel like a weight has been lifted...confession accomplished. Thanks for the backup. I wish you'd been there at my 12th birthday party.

    Which commandment? I've always had trouble with #6. Just can't do it. All the others, no prob.

    Marcheline - great story. You know he couldn't look at you without thinking, "that's the little girl who hit me."

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  8. I'm pretty sure that won't send you to Hell.

    If you really want to go to Hell, hang out with me. I've got a suite reserved.

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