Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Tell me something good...*

Despite the fact that I am actively pursuing positivity (i.e. not hanging out with people who bring me down, not listening to the little voice in my head that worries all the time, not reading sad books or listening to any of my numerous sad songs playlists), I just had to let some of the negativity loose. My top 10 list of things that piss me off:

1. People who keep sending me DC-based political job listings. I was communications director for one congressional campaign and, while I did a really good job for my candidate, I chose to work for the campaign because of the candidate and her positions, not because I had a dream to one day work for low wages in politics. I love you, but please stop with the DC job listing email forwards. I don't want to move to DC, especially not for 50K a year.

2. The chatty guy who works behind the counter at CVS who thinks it is appropriate to tell me I look tired, that I look that I've had a long day, etc. He's done it three times already. I work from home. Some days that means I don't wear makeup. I also have to walk my dog, which means I am often sweaty, covered in sunscreen, and wearing a ball cap to hide dirty hair. Also, I am over 30 and an insomniac, so I frequently suffer from puffy eye syndrome. None of this is CVS guy's business. And it doesn't make my day. Also? I never hear him say things like that to men. Don't comment on my appearance unless you think I look fantastic.

3. The former friend I haven't spoken to in five years sending me a friend request through Facebook (no note, just the friend request). There are better ways to get in touch after time has passed and this is not one of them. My email address has been the same since 1997. My cell number has been the same since 2000.

4. People who keep asking me to do shit for free, like they believe since I'm working from home I have all this time on my hands. I don't mind giving advice, volunteering, etc., but I do have a limit. And really my pet peeve here isn't doing something pro bono, it's the lack of reciprocity. I have literally reached out for help to people for whom I have bent over backwards for years for, and was left with my hand outstretched and not even a kind word. I could give you some fine examples, but would rather not name names. Instead, I will share my Note from the Universe that I received this morning:
"There will always be people in your life, Kelly Love, who hold you back, who cost you too much, and who fail to see all you've done for them. But, of course, they're just there to teach you that you do have time, that you'll always be rich, and that your own high standards are all that matter."

5. People who keep trying to engage me in conversation about things in celebrity gossip magazines. I do not care about those people with a bunch of kids, octo-mom or whatever her name is, anyone from The Hills, Housewives of Whatever, or reality television in general. I realize these are like crack to some people and that's just fine. I don't want to hear about them. The only reality shows I watch are on the Food Network , Animal Planet, and the Travel Channel. If that makes me a TV snob, so be it.

6. My douchebag neighbor who keeps parking his douchey boat and douchey truck on the side street of my house. It wouldn't be so bad if his douchey boat didn't LEAK GASOLINE INTO MY YARD. Also? I had four of my OTHER neighbors knock on my door to ask me if it was MY boat (seriously?!) because they were pissed about the gasoline smell. Someone called DHEC on him. It might have been me. If it wasn't me, I wish I'd thought of it.

7. Random neighbors (including douchey boat guy's girlfriend) stopping by to ask (a) if I have wi-fi and (b) if I will give them my password. One even offered me $20 a month to ride my wireless internet access. Wow - I pay $65 a month for internet access and you want to give me $20 a month to slow it down? No thanks and you have very large balls just for asking. My standard response is "I don't feel comfortable with that" (and then I raise an eyebrow to make my "and I don't care if you think I'm a bitch" face).

8. Some effed up show on the History Channel called "Life After People" I accidentally watched while flipping channels during a bout of insomnia. Dude, I am neurotic enough on my own. I ended up taking a Xanax at 3am just to be able to get back to sleep after watching just 10 minutes of this show. And I still can't get the images of feral dogs rummaging through cities out of my head.

9. People who respond to my listing on Roommates.com that are either complete freaks or arrange a time to meet and never show up or call me back. And the ones who are surprised that I'm actually "interviewing" potential roommates. Just trying to weed out the racists, homophobes, rednecks, and serial killers. I don't think that's too much to ask.

10. People who murder in the name of religion. I worry that Dr. Tiller's murder might indicate a return to some of the anti-choice violence we saw in the early and mid-90s. Also, it's been a long time since I've been to church, but I'm pretty sure "thou shalt not kill" is still included in the Ten Commandments. Some of the discourse and reporting about Tiller's murder scares me.

With all of this, let me add some positive things:
* My BFF and I came up with a great idea for a book that we're going to work on together - no details until I have a contract, but it's a good one.
* I noticed that one of my neighbors listens to books on CD when she's working in her yard, so I stopped by and gave her Tom Perrotta's Little Children on CD that I've had forever. She returned it the following week with some lovely chocolate pound cake.
* I have season 4 of Weeds on DVD.
* I'm as busy as I want to be.
* I have some really great friends who can make me laugh even when I am in a funk.

*Song by Rufus & Chaka Khan

Now it's your turn to help me on my quest for living a positive and balanced life. Tell me something good. Tell me that you love me. Tell me what you do love (even if it's celebrity gossip...I'll forgive you). Post a link to some good news. Tell me you're the one who called DHEC on my douchey neighbor. Tell me how great I look without makeup and with puffy eyes. Give me the name brand of sunscreen 60SPF or higher that won't make me look like I've rolled in Crisco. Just tell me.


  1. Hi, Kelly, You're the best. I love that you are so brave/bold to post your pet peeves out there like that. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get over my gotta please everybodyitis for once and forever...although I am mostly over it...just have occasional relapses.

    Good, just had an editor call rather than e-mail because she didn't want to write as she felt it cold.

    Now that's good.

  2. I think you're great at putting yourself out there too! I've gotten some really good PR tips and other news I can use from your blog. But tell me you wouldn't let a neighbor have your secure wireless network password...

    Love that the editor called instead of emailing! That IS good!

  3. I love you because you are the woman I'm trying to be!

    And I'll trade my dessicated river bed under-eye patches for some nice juicy bags any day!

  4. Aw, Janet...if you only knew. I could say the same to you. Perception and reality can be miles away from each other.

    And aren't under eye patches easier to get rid of than puffy eye? I keep a stock of Origins No Puffery in the fridge and it still takes an hour or so for my puffiness to go away in the morning. And sometimes it comes back. I'd take dark circles over bags! I think they're dramatic.

  5. I find it terribly ironic that now that I'm in my mid/late 30s, I've finally realized I'm so effing fabulous-looking that I am completely comfortable going out with makeup!

    And my neighbors drive me insane too, but being that I'm in Columbia, we have a tad more space between us than I had between me and my Charleston peninsula neighbors. Not that I'm saying that's a good thing.

    Can't wait to hear more about your new book!

  6. I have the first two discs of Weeds arriving tomorrow and I cannot WAIT.

    We need to get Santi's again very soon.

  7. What would life be like without Weeds! It has gotten me through many pissy moods. Note to self: get the DVDs. I don't have Showtime, so I've resorted to buying the seasons on iTunes and watching them on my iPod. I think I need Weeds on widescreen. That would make my week!

    You are someone who has really inspired me to pursue my writing, and the fact that you are always so honest has helped dissolve certain fantasies I may have had about following that path.

    So to return the favor, I'm happy to go kick the CVS guy for you. :)
    Or maybe I'll just tell him he looks like total crap.

  8. Suz - I'm jealous! I do get compliments on my skin, but only when I wear makeup. Without it (Bare Escentuals is my addiction), I am blotchy and freckled. And have the occasional breakout - payback for not having acne in high school I think.

  9. Sabrina - Yay, we're both watching Weeds! I finished disc 1 last night and MUST find someone to discuss with, since I'm watching it a year after everyone else who has Showtime. Call me and let me know when you're free for lunch at Santi's! Next week is open for me!

  10. Angie - I hate watching Weeds a year after the season airs, but I don't want to pay for Showtime or download it on iTunes. LOVE the show though! Have had many Weeds-watching marathons!

    And thanks for your nice words! I think you have a wonderful writing voice (and I love what you're blogging about this month with all of those fab women...Doretha is a friend and I'm in her fan club)!

  11. Hi. I'm Heidi. I popped in via the roundup at LC Bloggers.

    Thank you for helping me through the last part of my day. I love this post.

    I have no idea what "weeds" is.. but I want to see it, just from the excitement, here. I wonder if I have enough time to catch up with all the season's, on DVD, before the current season of Grey's comes out on DVD??

    I'd tell Mr. CVS Boy that you'll trade your ECB's for silence. Or start wearing t-shirts that say "I AM FABULOUS" when you know you will see him. *smile*

    #3 happened to me, last month, but it was more like 19 years. *sigh*

    Good luck with that room mate.

  12. Hi Heidi! Thanks for stopping by and for your nice words! Weeds is great and definitely worth catching up from the first season. You can watch a whole season in a weekend because the episodes are only a half-hour long...it's addictive!

    And I'm curious to know - what did you do about #3? Did you accept the friend request? Send a note?

  13. Hey Kelly,
    My Something good:

    I am thrilled when you post. I love reading your stuff.

    I too think that BE makeup is the bomb diggety!


  14. Hi Kelly..

    re: FB "Friend"

    At first, I replied, "Say something!" thinking that if I got "something" back.. I'd just delete it all and call it a day. She replied, "Hey, how are you?" and then "Did you have a western wedding dress?" (interesting since she wasn't at my wedding.)

    I carried on a dialogue for about a week.. she was nice and semi-open, asking more questions than offering info.. and I finally decided to be a grown up and put my big-girl panties on and accept the invite.

    It didn't take long for me to see that she is a name collector, on her FB and we don't really interact.

    I guess I'd call this probation, for her? *giggle* She's made me feel like none in a million? :) I know where the line is drawn in the sand..

    Just because people change doesn't mean we forget how to be cautious of letting them run us over the coals, again?

    If all else fails.. there is "block," right? :\


  15. Djuanna - thank you! I'm trying to be better about keeping up my blog. It was that or get rid of it, and I can't seem to let go, since I've been doing it since 2003!

    I don't think I'll ever use another brand of makeup - BE changed my life. And my skin.

  16. Heidi - I haven't responded to the friend request because I couldn't decide whether or not to send a note asking "WTF?" but I think I'm just going to delete it. It might be the same situation...just collecting FB friends. And I really only want to have FB friends that I "know" (either talk to regularly via email or phone or see in person).

  17. You are a great writer Kelly - your words are much missed in Skirt, and I'm glad I found your blog. Honest and funny, with just the right mix of hard truths.

    I love that I can laugh at myself. And I love that I'm really happy.

    Me - married at 22, a child at 26, divorced at 31. Fast forward to now, at 45 - a wonderful 18 year old young man who makes me proud to be his mom, and me - finally comfortable in my own skin and just married again - to the right person, this time.

  18. Columbiacitygirl - thank you! And I'm glad you found me here and took the time to post your "something good" - sounds like "something great!"

    I believe that being able to laugh at yourself (or having a slightly skewed sense of humor) is the key to survival.

  19. Now THAT was an awesome blog! I love you because you know when I need you; because you told me as you were helping me put on my veil that we could sneak out if I didn't want to go through with the wedding; because you read me like a book; because you can make me laugh till I almost pee my pants, and on and on. Today, I was quiet, googled female rock stars and found someone I should have known about, a silent member of the forever 27 club...Mia Zapatta of The Gits. Will you see if "The Gits" is in your netflix choices? Oh, will Tuesday be an ok night for our weekly Hot Mustard fix? Bed calls. Love you.

  20. And I love you for letting me wear black to be "best woman" at your wedding!

    Found The Gits documentary and it's at the top of my Netflix queue now! I just mailed back three movies so it probably won't come until Wed.

  21. Kelly-Thanks to you, I now get my daily note from the Universe. If I didn't have plenty of other reasons to admire you, that would really be enough.

  22. Brilliant! It's been a while since I stopped in on a blog that kept me so entertained! Hi Kelly, I am a friend of John Garcia's and noticed your profile on LinkedIn, he had told me about before and I see everything is true - you've got a lot going on! So for now, just wanted to say - LOVE the blog!

    - Corina

  23. Hi Corina,

    Thanks so much! I'm glad you found me here and hope you'll keep coming back. I'm working hard at keeping my writing mojo active, so I expect to do a lot more posting here.

  24. You got me a freelance gig! For that I will not be the creep who doesn't reciprocate. Let me know if I can ever be of help and I'll gladly assist!


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