Must stay away from mall...

This is my third attempt this week at posting something that doesn't make me sound like a grinch. I really do love the holidays, I'm just feeling a bit inundated. Overwhelmed. Holiday-ed out, and I haven't really done any shopping yet. It's the commercials, the Muzak, the decorations that have been up since Halloween, the non-stop screeching of "deck the halls" and "favorite things" from holiday carol CDs in the office, the "buy buy buy" TV commercials and inane news stories about making your own gifts or recycling gifts or buying better gifts on the morning programs.

And all of that does sound a bit grinchly, does it not? I do not want to stand in line, spend too much, shop until I drop, or enjoy great! holiday! savings! I don't want a last minute deal. I don't want to know what the rules of regifting are.

I really just want to hang out with my sisters and nieces and do family things. I want to make the chicken liver spread my sister Katie loves and sit on a fat couch with my fat nephew on my fat lap. I want to ride on my sister Karen's girlfriend's motorcycle until I can't feel my face because of the cold. I want to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Miracle on 34th Street" with my niece Keri. I want to sing with my sister Kristin in our cartoon voices until the cat freaks out and hides. I want to start a "who's going to cry?" family betting pool.

I'm going to enjoy the hell out of my time off this year.

Summertime and the living is easy...

And I can't seem to catch the holiday spirit when it's almost 80 degrees outside. I haven't even put up the sparkly pink tree yet. I love living in Charleston, but I thought we had a deal: I only have to suffer through the heat three months out of the year.

I have a few holiday soirees to go to this weekend and I'm hoping I'll get inspired to drag out the tree and its disco balls. Either that, or I'll just drag in a pine branch from the side of the road, throw some ribbon on it, and have a Charlie Brown Christmas.

And tonight we (by we, I mean me and all the cool women I work with) will be at Muse Restaurant & Wine Bar for a "Sip With Skirt!" December event. 5-7, $20 at the door, and I promise to be entertaining for exactly two hours or until my Xanax wears off. Hope to see you there!

They're heeeeere....

Now it's real: I have a book and I can hold it in my hand. My advance copies arrived this week. Let the shameless self promotion begin!

If you're a reviewer and would like an advance copy of Skirt! Rules for the Workplace , email me at kelly.love@skirt.com. I'll be your best friend (or at least your hi-bye friend) forever.

Today is a lucky day for those who remain cheerful and optimistic...

I used to have this written on a Post-it taped to my computer screen, but I lost it a long time ago. My friend Jeff used to say it a lot and I think it's from a fortune cookie. I've realized lately how often my thoughts (and statements) are negative and how difficult it is to try and turn them into positives.

For example:
Negative - "I spend 50 f*cking dollars A MONTH on vitamins."
Positive - "I have really expensive pee."

Negative - "I feel old today."
Positive - "I feel things because I am human and alive."

Negative - "I'm creatively drained."
Positive - "You can't fill a well that doesn't need filling."

I'm tired, cranky, hungry, pained, anxious, and bored. But I should be grateful, buoyant, healthy, calm, and inspired. And even on the days when I feel like everything is made of red tape, when it feels like a trip to the grocery store is too haaard, when the treadmill at the gym feels like the wheel in a hamster cage (damn, forgot about those little guys...now I'm having mid-90s web flashbacks), I should be thankful. A lot of things come easy to me and I have to stop complaining about the things that don't (like having a sunny personality). I get to be around people who remind me that positivity comes from within and that a whole hour of yoga is worth the happy baby pose at the end. My family is healthy. I'm healthy. And even if I have already lived half of my life (we can talk about my "mid-life crisis" later), if the second half is going to be anything like the first, it's going to kick ass.

I know how lucky I am. I do.

Ouch.

It hurts to type.

I overworked my arms at the gym on Monday, felt fine yesterday, and woke up this morning cursing. It's mostly in the pectoral or lat something or other (I prefer the term "breasticles") area and my triceps (at least, I think that's what the flabby under-the-arm part is called). I couldn't raise my arms over my head to blow dry my hair this morning. On the plus side, I really enjoy the bench press and the pain is "good" pain. Yes, you should definitely want to kick my ass for saying that.

Last week, I did a cardio challenge class (okay, HALF a cardio challenge class) and I thought I was going to die during the class. Two words: Ball squats. Two more: Side lunges. But the real pain set in about 36 hours later. I had to use the handicapped stall in the bathroom because I needed something to hold onto when I sat down.

No pain, no gain, right? Actually, no pain, no loss. Riiiiight.