What June in Austin looks like...

Work, work, sweat, sleep, eat, sweat, work, sweat, swear, sweat, apply sunscreen, sweat, work, eat, sleep, pay high electric bill, work, eat, sleep naked, work, eat, sweat, apply sunscreen, repeat.

Also:

Laugh my ass off when the weatherperson on the news channel refers to this time of year as "spring."

Get angry at the dog for wanting to go outside when it feels like 110 degrees, but worry that the sidewalk is burning her feet.

Notice that the entire neighborhood in the mid-day heat smells like garbage and dog shit.

Designate the hour upon returning home from the office following taking the dog out "naked time." Fall in love with my ceiling fan.

For my Charleston friends back home, June in Austin feels like August in Charleston. I'm imagining that July and August in Austin is going to make me want to move into my refrigerator. And that thing about Texas heat being "dry heat?" Lies.

Why I do not look pretty on the weekends...

If the sun is shining (the Texas sun is brutal, y'all) and I'm not doing anything social, I usually spend the day covered in sunscreen because I put it on every time I take the dog out. Weekends are also the days when I exercise most, so in addition to sunscreen, I also wear giant sunglasses and a really ugly (told you!) sun hat.



a) No matter how good the sunscreen is, and even if it is "oil-free," no one looks pretty covered in white paste.
b) I look terrible in hats. Always have, always will. My head is big. Hats are small.
c) Hair is dirty because I usually wait until evening to shower, knowing that it's going to get sunscreen in it and have a hat on it.
d) I don't feel self conscious walking down the street dressed head-to-toe in black with incognito sunglasses and a sun hat because my neighborhood is culturally diverse, I see men in dresses and women carrying sun umbrellas, plus Austin is a little weird so they probably just look at me and go, "oh, vampire...no biggie."
e) I am not smirking in this photo. I am grimacing because I was sweaty and got sunscreen in my mouth and sunscreen tastes like shit.
f) Yes, mom, I put my nose ring back in. It's part of my mid-life crisis and I'm enjoying it.

There's nothing better...

than a rainy, stormy Saturday afternoon when it's 90+ degrees outside and you were smart enough to take the dog for a nice long walk in the morning when it was still cool and not raining and do the dishes and go to the grocery store, which leaves your afternoon free to turn down the air conditioning to 67 degrees and take a nap on top of your duvet/comforter with a throw blanket over your feet, fat little puppy on one side and cat on the other while it pours rain and thunders outside. Guilt-free group naps. They're the best.

Also good: having a stack of unread library books, dinner that doesn't require a lot of preparation in the fridge, the 2nd two discs of Weeds season 4, and a great excuse for staying in for the evening.

The only thing better: if I get to do it all over again on Sunday.

Summertime and the living is easy...

And I can't seem to catch the holiday spirit when it's almost 80 degrees outside. I haven't even put up the sparkly pink tree yet. I love living in Charleston, but I thought we had a deal: I only have to suffer through the heat three months out of the year.

I have a few holiday soirees to go to this weekend and I'm hoping I'll get inspired to drag out the tree and its disco balls. Either that, or I'll just drag in a pine branch from the side of the road, throw some ribbon on it, and have a Charlie Brown Christmas.

And tonight we (by we, I mean me and all the cool women I work with) will be at Muse Restaurant & Wine Bar for a "Sip With Skirt!" December event. 5-7, $20 at the door, and I promise to be entertaining for exactly two hours or until my Xanax wears off. Hope to see you there!

Thinking cool thoughts...

* If one more person asks, "hot enough for ya?" I'm going to spontaneously combust.
* I don't like contributing to global warming, but I love air conditioning, which makes me an active participant in the destruction of our planet. Um...sorry.
* I can't sleep without a fan going.

I stumbled across this animated story of a girl and her fan by Lori Samsel on YouTube. Enjoy.

Forecast for a Sunday morning bike ride...

Hot, hazy, humid...

...and happy that my sunscreen is working.